Rock Tiger

scot — Wed, 14 May 2008 08:36:45 +0000

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Rock Tiger

Tiger, Tiger's Fading Light

On November 27, 2009, at around 2:30 a.m. Tiger Woods had a car accident near Isleworth as he was leaving his home in his 2009 Cadillac Escalade SUV. From that moment on America has been held hostage again by the media as they feed us sordid details surrounding the accident and alleged affair involving Woods. I have to admit that up until recently I was one of the few people in the country who was not following the Tiger Woods story very closely. This was despite the fact that I could scarcely avoid it as it was everywhere - on TV, online and in tabloids at the supermarket checkout lanes. When I did decide to follow the story of the accident and the alleged affairs Woods has had with nightclub manager Rachel Uchitel, cocktail waitress Jaimee Grubbs and porn star Holly Sampson, among others, the first thing I wondered was if it was too late to take up golf. Then I thought that spoiled bastard. Here he is married to gorgeous, Swedish model Elin Nordegren and he’s still out there letting other women handle his nine iron. Then I thought here we go again. This is going to be followed by another national round of man-bashing as women all over the country are going to conclude that this is proof of how all men are unfaithful. (Funny how men are the only group it is still okay to generalize about.)

Finally, the thought I settled with is why the hell do any of us care?

From the interminable saga of the Jon and Kate story, to the drama of Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, which played out several years ago, we are again obsessing over the sordid details concerning the lives of celebrities. (Pardon me for being extremely loose with the word “celebrity” to describe dumb-as-a-bag-of-rocks Jon and super-irritating Kate.) We are as concerned about the minutia of celebrities’ lives as a particular, anonymous porn spammer is about the size of my penis and whether my lady is satisfied. We seem to idolize and despise celebrities at the same time and demand of them that they pay penance for being richer, more beautiful and more talented than we. They are taxed with the total loss of privacy especially if that loss reveals details about their foibles. I know. I know. How can you feel sorry for anyone who has so much? Well I do. Privacy is a right that all of us, unless we have been tried and convicted of some crime, are supposed to have.

Of course, I am not condoning any alleged affair(s) Woods may or not have had, but I balk at the media’s attempt to justify this excessive coverage by trying to pull some larger issue of infidelity out of it. I insist that they, and we, be honest. They are covering this because it sells. We are watching it for the same reason we watch “reality shows” – we are voyeurs. We revel at watching the lives of others unfold before us and long to see every wart, every blister that is revealed to us in the process. We have made of other people’s woes entertainment. Our obsession with celebrities follows them up until and even after they are dead. For example, I can remember shortly after the death of Michael Jackson MSNBC anchorpersons Tamryn Hall and Courtney Hazlett addressing the criticism that the media coverage of Jackson’s death was excessive with CNBC’s Donny Deutsch. Deutsch, host of The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, was arguing my case that the amount of coverage was extreme and unjustified. Both women seemed very defensive about the charge. Hall argued, as many others in the media had, that by covering Jackson’s death to this extent the larger issue of drug addiction was also being addressed. (This was as if the overdose of any other person wouldn’t have illustrated that issue.) Now the media is again trying to pretend that the excessive coverage of the Woods matter is justified because it raises the larger issue of infidelity. Hogwash! Let’s be honest people. Our interest stems from pure voyeurism.

In our ever coarsening society the celebrity gets caught being human, the media provides us with the narrative of these spectacles by supplying us with lurid details of celeberity injudiciousness and we gobble it up. As an added treat these scandals are often accompanied with lurid text messages, emails and porn video tapes. (Isn’t Woods lucky Ms Grubbs decided to save those emails and text messages from their alleged affair? Now she has achieved quasi-celebritydom. She should watch out for where that may lead her.) The point is, I don’t think that Woods should have to pay for his celebrity by being run through the national grist mill due to indiscretions nearly everyone who reads about his has committed themselves.

I’m content with this: Tiger Woods is a phenomenal golfer. He has contributed more to getting younger people and people of various ethnic and racial backgrounds interested in the game than any person in history. I applaud him for that. I have made peace with the fact that he is more talented than I am at the game of golf, is younger and has access to women who would not even acknowledge my existence. Let’s let the man pick up the tattered remains of his marriage or not. Let’s let him continue with his meteoric rise in his sport without the half-wish, half-expectation the rest of us have that he comes crashing to the Earth. Let’s let him, even as Gatorade has announced that it is discontinuing its “Tiger Focus” sports drink, hold on to his endorsements (endorsements which netted him 105 million dollars last year.) Let’s let him do all these things while once again we Americans demonstrate that once a celebrity’s beacon has burned its brightest, there is nothing more for us to do but to wait and watch as that light slowly fades. Now that’s entertainment.

About the Author

I am a native Missourian with a B.A. in English and minors in creative writing and Journalism. I attended the University of Missouri and edited have several newspapers and newsletters. I have worked in several fields but lately have worked in the legal field (not an attorney). My site is www.myhumbleopinion.org

Tiger B. Smith - Tiger Rock (1974)